Immolation
by Courtanie
Summary: Kenny is visited by angels, telling him that only through that of Kyle may he finally find peace. Is God's message truly as loving as he believes it to be? T for Gore and Death.


_**Another one of the 100 Themes of Horror. 52 - Immolation**_

_**Enjoy :3**_

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><p>Once, long ago before my life finally started to pick up its pace, I was told that my immortality was that of a gift. I've always viewed it as a curse, hoping that something could take away my eternal life and grant me the imminent demise that I was so desperately hoping for.<p>

I researched. For years of my life I looked and looked, glancing into the past, on the way that they saw immortal beings.

Figures of power and wealth were considered immortal and everlasting. However, that was in a metaphorical sense. The real immortals were the demons; the things that couldn't be killed by anything until a god finally took it upon themselves to strike them down in a haze of glory.

Fucking monsters get all the luck.

From the time I was ten until I turned eighteen, I did nothing but search for answers. Most people were trying to figure out what they were going to be in the future, but I already knew my answer: Dead.

I couldn't fucking wait for that moment when death would overshadow me in a sweet and dark embrace. I was ready to welcome it with open arms, even as my life progressed into a better world than the one that I grew up in.

I'd become the guy that everyone wanted to be; the person who didn't give two shits because he never really had to. The laid-back and seemingly-content dude just living as he saw fit. For whatever amount of time I was allowed, anyway.

I'd snagged my childhood friend, Kyle for my boyfriend back when we were fifteen and hadn't let him go since. He was the one thing that I had to look forward to going day in and day out, waking up from death only to see him staring back at me with those big green eyes.

It was happiness, it was almost enough for me to want to deal with it time and again just so I could see the way he looked each time I woke back up.

Almost.

A part of me loathed it, however. I wanted to be with him in the throes of life, not just him sitting by my bedside waiting for me to wake up from my frozen state as I missed out on every moment of our lives. He was always patient with me, never getting aggrivated with my constant disappearances and doing nothing more than remaining calm as he waited.

I hated it.

To see him as such did nothing more than hurt me. I'd told him that it wasn't fair to him; that he could leave me if he wanted to and I'd never look at him differently. He told me to shut the fuck up if I recall correctly before kissing me and promising that he'd wait.

Maybe the last few years of research have been for him more than for myself. I wouldn't tell him why I was spending countless hours in the library, lying and telling him that I was studying so I wouldn't turn out like my deadbeat parents. He told me he was proud of me and that he respected my space, so he never interfered.

I guess that's a load of guilt in my case, but at least he was never worried.

I don't know how many times I went through books, how many nights I spent nearly tearing my hair out as I looked and looked for my answers. The librarian had gotten to the point of leaving me hot cocoa every night since I was such a regular during her nightshift. The only other person she did that for was Kyle, and she made sure for me that he didn't see the books that I looked through.

She didn't know why I asked her to do so, but she followed through nonetheless. She saved my boyfriend a hell of a lot of heartache, I'm sure.

Late in July the year I turned nineteen, however, I was starting to hit the end of my rope. I'd scanned through everything the library had to offer, I'd used the internet to the point where my searches were all over the computer's history, overtaking anyone else's research.

My life had become just that: Wake up, reassure Kyle that I'm all right, and head off to find a way to make sure that I don't have to do it again. I was practically shaking nonstop in my desperation for an answer, turning to every resource I could find for answers. The priest turned me away, the books lead me in countless directions; all of them dead ends. I didn't know what to do.

One late night, Kyle and I laid upon my mattress, him curled up against my side and my arm under him, playing with his hair mindlessly.

"What's wrong?" he murmured sleepily.

"Thinkin'," I had replied, blinking at my ceiling.

"'Bout what?" he yawned.

I had stopped for a few moments, tensing my arm around him before sighing. "Whaddya think about life, Ky?"

"I think that it needs to come with a manual," he muttered.

I looked down on him and sighed. Wasn't that the truth... "I'm being serious, Kyle."

He looked up and shrugged, "So was I. Life is fucking complicated. No easy answers and everything comes at a price. All we can do is deal with it and take whatever form of help comes along the way. Let's just hope the ones helping us through the manual aren't outsources from India."

I laughed and shook my head, squeezing him as his eyes fell shut drowsily once again. I held him there, feeling him fading into a deep sleep and sighing, rolling over and draping my other arm across him, leaning my head against his and finding my breathing starting to fall in time with that of my small redhead. It wasn't long before sleep overtook me as well and I felt myself falling.

It was so familiar. Falling and falling deeper into an unknown cavern of woe and discontent. I closed my eyes as the air rushed up past my body before I felt myself slowing and raised my brow. My body lifted up and I landed on the ground softly on my toes. I looked around, my eyes falling on a bright light and I tilted my head at it.

I stepped towards it, reaching out with cautious fingertips towards the glowing beacon. I licked my lips at its irresistible glow before I was intercepted and pushed back by a boy with brown hair and deep maroon eyes. I stumbled and fell back in shock as he and another boy with shaggier hair but those same stunning eyes came up in front of me, staring me down.

"What the...what the fuck are you?" I blinked.

"They call us saints," one replied. "The messenger of God."

I blinked at them and they chuckled, each reaching for me and grasping one of my arms and hefting me to my feet.

The one on my left pointed at the light they'd blocked from me and started, "You want to be there, don't you?"

"Where's there?" I asked.

"Death," the other whispered with a grin overshadowing his pale face. He shook his mouse-brown hair back and pointed with his companion. "There is where the souls are laid to rest. It is there that they finally become what everyone's ambition should come to in the very end."

"It's the end of your quest," the opposite murmured, squeezing my arm.

My eyes grew and I tried moving towards the light before they pulled me back.

"Uh uh uhhhh," the one on my right said tauntingly. "That's not meant for you, Kenneth."

"Who the fuck...," I muttered, shaking my head and growling, trying to break from them again. They held me still and I couldn't believe how much strength they used, how easily they kept me as I was. I finally stopped thrashing around, looking between the two of them and panting. "Why can't I go?" I demanded. "I deserve it just as much as any one else!"

"Mmm perhaps," one of them said, nodding slowly. "But our Lord has a special task for you to complete in order to complete your transition between the worlds, Kenneth."

"What?" I questioned, looking between them in complete loss.

His brother squeezed my arm and smiled at me. "You are one of His special children, Kenneth. He wants for you to prove to him your honor to Him before he lets you step into your new life."

"How?" I'd shouted, my anxiety rising dangerously as the other leaned in towards my ear.

"Death for you will not be easy," he murmured. "In fact, it will take everything you have to complete your task."

"What's my task?" I demanded. "I've waited almost two fucking decades for this. I want to know!"

An image flew up in the corner of my eye and I shot my head over, raising my brow as a picture of Kyle sleeping under my arm came into my view.

"This boy," one of them gestured to my boyfriend. "He is wanted."

"What? What'd Kyle do?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. "However, he is pure. He is needed to control your downfall into eternity."

I chuckled. "Get that kid drunk and he is anything but pure, trust me."

"Pleasure of the flesh is not the only form of filth, Kenneth," one of them grinned. He gestured to Kyle's gentle face and then looked at me. "Knowledge...is one of mankind's most deadly assets," he stated. "He knows not of your quest for the afterlife. He's been nothing more than a pawn as you've maneuvered around him so well for so long."

"So...he's pure because...," I raised my brow.

"He knows not of your lust of death," the other finished in a dramatic hiss. "His ignorance is his bliss, his innocence in the matter of your wantings leaves him nothing more than an unmarred soul by information's hand."

I narrowed my eyes at the two of them. "You're angels," I stated.

"Yes," one of them nodded.

"You're...helping me after so long? Why?"

"Our Lord has chosen that it is time for you to call Home," the other smiled. "He wants you to be where you belong. He believes as well that it is time for your life to come to an end."

I smiled slightly at this. "But...what does Kyle have to do with me dying?"

A beat of silence passed between us before the first one chuckled. "He is the key to your death," he said slowly. "Only through him may you pass."

"Meaning...?"

"You have to take his life first, lest you be trapped as you remain now."

My eyes widened and I shook my head slowly. "No."

They nodded, "Yes, you must," they replied in unison.

"I'm not killing Kyle," I said firmly. "I don't fucking care what you tell me."

The second one chuckled as his brother had and tilts his head, "You'd rather you both live in misery? This boy is not happy to see you suffer as such, Kenneth. He wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. Who's to say that he wouldn't love you in death as he had in his life?"

"I...I can't kill Kyle," I shook my head. I looked at the view of my boyfriend's face and my own dropped.

"Come now, Kenneth," one cooed. "He wants your happiness. Would you rather he grow old and die without you? Or would you rather you both go in your youth and live forever in eternity?"

"All it takes...is the boy's blood," the first smiled. "Bathe yourself in him, remind yourself that he and yourself are one and the same, confess to yourself your everlasting love for him. Make him who you are."

My eyes had fallen to the ground, and I found myself staring at a reflection of myself. Kyle came up from out of my line of sight and stood next to me. I turned my head and found him staring at me, the angels vanished from my side. He grasped my hand and kissed the back of it, and I watched him pull away, leaving a blood-stained lip mark on my skin. He looked up at me, blinking slowly before blood began pouring from his tear ducts.

"Kenny..." he said distantly. "I just want you to be happy," he'd said, clutching my hand in both of his. "We can be happy together..." he leaned up, pushing his lips against mine. "Love me?" he whispered before it faded away in a breath of air. I opened my eyes to find him gone, the reflecting floor gone pitch black and the angels staring at me from a few feet away.

"Love is delicate. As is ignorance," one smiled. "Take Kyle's blood-stained hands and cross with him into death."

"Nothing sings as sweetly as the loving rapture of everlasting adoration," the other added. "Our lord is giving you this chance. Use it wisely." The light lingering behind them grew increasingly large before overtaking my vision and blinding me.

I remember jolting suddenly back into reality, into my room atop my dirtied mattress, still wrapped around my boyfriend. My heart pounded insanely as I looked around my room for that light. Instead, I found a pair of boys staring at me.

"Take it now," they whispered before fading off.

I looked down at the redhead clutched in my arms, the way he smiled against me in his sleep and occasionally his face nuzzled closer into my chest. I gulped, shakily running my hand along under his side. He let out a soft laugh, his body arching up and freeing my arm. I slid it out from under him and watched him settle back onto my mattress with a gentle dip of his hip. He nuzzled into my pillow and I kept my eye trained on him, getting off the bed and walking over towards my drawers.

I pulled out my sock drawer and fished out my dad's old hunting knife he gave me after he'd been sent to jail. I close my eyes and shake a bit as I feel the handle in my palm.

I took a deep breath and walked back over to him, staring down on his frail body and the way he was curled up into himself, his fingers curling a bit around the pillow. I kneeled back onto the bed, tucking the knife into my back pocket as I leaned down and kissed his cheek. He hummed a bit in recognition and I moved down, nipping along his neck and kissing him gently.

"Ken...," he smiled, still half-asleep and closing his neck off from me. I moved and nibbled on his ear lobe as his eyes finally fell open. He looked at me with tired eyes and smiled again. "Don't you ever stop?" he smirked.

I shook my head, reaching under him and turning him onto his back. I straddled over him and leaned down, brushing his lips.

"Never," I said softly, taking his lips as his arms and legs wrapped around me, pulling me closer. I moved our bodies together feverishly, listening to his passion-infused moans escaping his soft lips as I pushed him down into the mattress. His fingernails dug into my back and I pulled up from his mouth, staring down at him and his lusty eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked innocently.

"Do...do you love me?" I asked.

He cocked his head. "Of course I do. I've been with you for for-fucking-ever, Dude." I nodded at his words, licking my lips in thought. "Why?"

I paused, staring at his alarmed face. "Would you do anything for me?"

"Anything," he nodded slowly.

I could feel the blade pushing against me in my pockets, I could feel the stares of the angels from wherever they were. I could feel God watching, waiting. But mostly I could feel Kyle, worried and open underneath me as he held onto me, his fingers digging more into my skin with each tense silent moment.

I looked at him again and smiled weakly. "I...I just had to know."

He smiled at me softly, leaning up and taking my lips, dragging me back down onto the bed. I could feel a lump in my throat as I ground myself against him, moving my hand not tracing his delicate waist under me towards my back pocket. I reached in and grabbed my knife, placing it down on the mattress beside the pillow as I more passionately attacked his lips.

Life begins at death I reminded myself. Kyle had to go with me. He loved me; he'd do it if I asked him to.

He had to.

I felt a tear trail down my cheek and onto Kyle's. He pulled back, panting softly. "Are you okay?" he asked, rubbing my back soothingly. I reopened my glistening eyes to him and gritted my teeth, swiftly moving the knife from beside him to overtop his throat, not giving him even a second to react before slashing his throat cleanly across the pale surface.

His green eyes widened and he started trembling in convulsions underneath me. I grabbed him, planting my lips against his again. He coughed against me and his blood spluttered into my open mouth, but I welcomed it. I welcomed any part of Kyle going with me. He choked desperately and I pressed against him harder, trying to completely cut off his air in any way I could to end his suffering sooner. His shaking became erratic and I grabbed his shoulders, digging my fingertips into him and trying to hold him before finally he fell still. I refused to move from atop him for a good minute before finally pulling back, blinking away tears and sniffling as I found my boyfriend's neck a pure ruby as it cascaded atop my bed. His gentle eyes closed and his mouth partially open from me.

I rubbed my face against his wound, feeling the blood coating me in a thin layer of guilt and sorrow. I coughed out a sob before leaning back up, feeling the warm liquid trailing down my own throat from my face. I shakily raised my hands, looking at the coating of blood overtop them and watching them shake horrifically with realization.

Taking the life of someone innocent, playing around with him as such...was this what God wanted? For me to experience what He had in his years of toying with me?

My thoughts linger on this for a moment before I hear laughter to my side. I look over, seeing the angels shaking in fits of laughter. I stare at them in bewilderment before they hop up, floating gently in the air of my room and hovering over Kyle's limp body and myself.

"Abraham was asked by an angel to sacrifice his son," one of them grinned.

"But it was all a test of faith from God," the other chortled.

"God has no interest in your petty sacrifices," the first howled. "Our god is much too busy to be paying attention to a low-lying wretch such as you and your foolish lover."

My jaw dropped and I started shaking heavier and they laughed louder before the first fell back into a mere smile, letting his brother laugh for the both of them. "You've gotten your wish, Kenneth," he stated.

"What?..." I whispered, shaking my head and feeling Kyle's blood practically set aflame as it continued running down my body.

"You've lost the one element of your life that allowed you to live," he smiled slyly. "He was not aware that you wished escape. He believed you to be happy, he was happy with you. And now...now look what you've done," he reached down and stroked Kyle's head mockingly. "Now he lies under you in a pool of his own blood. The poor unfortunate boy," he clucked his tongue.

I continued shaking, my mind couldn't comprehend even a single statement to retort with.

"You have found your personal death, Kenneth," the second smiled, running two fingers through Kyle's blood and smearing it down the clear side of my face.

"God has plans for you, Kenneth," the first stated lowly. He gestured to Kyle. "He was in the way. Sacrifices must be made for the bigger cause."

"You...you lied," I croaked out, tears pouring down my cheeks.

"God never lies," they smiled together before fading off into a bright light and vanishing from my sight.

I looked down at my boyfriend, still and growing cold with each moment. I sobbed out, stroking his face and running my fingers through his fiery red hair and leaning against him once more, letting my face become coated in the blood of my very existence. Life had become a curse for so long, life was such a burden, that my one gift was overshadowed by its presence.

Death had become my life. Death had taken another innocent far too soon in the midst of animalistic sacrifice. It had taken the one source of life that I had that lived in Kyle, that fed through him unto me and made my living Hell tolerable.

But now, Death had taken over who I was, what I could have been, and God Himself wanted to make sure that nothing stood in its way.


End file.
